My Father Never Raised His Hand To

The Vice-president Of An Advertising Agency Is A Bit Of Executive Fungus That Forms On A Desk That Has Been Exposed To Conference.

We Are Living In The Machine Age. For The First Time In History The Comedian Has Been Compelled To Supply Himself With Jokes And Comedy Material To Compete With The Machine. Whether He Knows It Or Not, The Comedian Is On A Treadmill To Oblivion.

You Can Take All The Sincerity In Hollywood, Place It In The Navel Of A Fruit Fly And Still Have Room Enough For Three Caraway Seeds And A Producer's Heart.

Television Is A Medium Because Anything Well Done Is Rare.

I'm Going To Boston To See My Doctor. He's A Very Sick Man.