My Dog Was Barking At Everyone The

So I Went To The Chinese Restaurant And This Duck Came Up To Me With A Red Rose And Says "your Eyes Sparkle Like Diamonds". I Said "waiter, I Asked For A-romatic Duck".

And The Back Of His Anorak Was Leaping Up And Down, And People Were Chucking Money To Him. I Said 'do You Earn A Living Doing That?' He Said 'yes, This My Livelihood.'

I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost 3 Days Already.

I Bought Some Hp Sauce The Other Day. It's Costing Me 6p A Month For The Next 2 Years.

Police Arrested Two Kids Yesterday, One Was Drinking Battery Acid, The Other Was Eating Fireworks. They Charged One And Let The Other One Off.