My Character, Rick Spleen, Is A What-if

In My Local Newspaper, They Had This Advert: 'please Look After Your Neighbours In The Cold Weather'. I Live Next Door To This 84-year-old Woman, And Do You Know, Not Once Has She Come Round To See If I'm All Right. The Lazy Cow Hasn't Even Taken Her Milk In For A Fortnight.

I Was So Keen To Become A Comedian That Actually Doing The Comedy Itself Almost Came Second.

If I've Inadvertently Become Some Sort Of Role Model For Failed Comedians, Then It's Really Backfired Very Badly On Me.

My Character, Rick Spleen, Is A What-if Version Of Me, Really, Where Nothing Did Quite Turn Out Right And Everything Else Is Still Around The Corner.

Maybe I Fear Things Going Wrong So Much That I Pre-empt Them By Not Getting Excited About Them When They Appear To Be. Going Well.