My Best Birth Control Now Is Just

My Obstetrician Was So Dumb That When I Gave Birth He Forgot To Cut The Cord. For A Year That Kid Followed Me Everywhere. It Was Like Having A Dog On A Leash.

God Always Comes Up With A Third Act Twist -- And We Won't Know Until We Die Whether The Play Was A Comedy Or A Tragedy.

Happiness, At My Age, Is Breathing

My Husband Wanted To Be Cremated. I Told Him I'd Scatter His Ashes At Neiman Marcus - That Way, I'd Visit Him Every Day.

Never Buy A Fur From A Vegetarian.