More Than Ever Before, Americans Are Suffering

Sports Like Baseball, Basketball, And Hockey Develop Muscles. That's Why Americans Have The Strongest Eyes In The World.

I Got A Valentine's Day Card From My Girl. It Said, 'take My Heart! Take My Arms! Take My Lips!' Which Is Just Like Her. Keeping The Best Part For Herself.

For Father's Day, My Kids Always Give Me A Bottle Of Cologne Called English Leather. It's Appropriate! To Them I Always Smell Like A Wallet.

A Toast To The Weapons Of War, May They Rust In Peace.

It's Mandatory In This Day And Age To Be Considered To Have A Sense Of Humor And To Demonstrate It. You're Not Paying Me For A Joke, You're Paying Me For The Right Joke.