Humor Starts Like A Wildfire, But Then

I Love To Watch Those Old Movies On Late-night Television, Particularly When A Couple Get Up From A Champagne Dinner In A Posh Restaurant And The Hero Hands The Waiter $3. But The Best Part Is When He Says, "keep The Change."

I Understand The Big Food Companies Are Developing A Tearless Onion. I Think They Can Do It - After All, They've Already Given Us Tasteless Bread.

The Secret Of Writing Comedy Is To Know Where It's All Going, Then Get Ahead Of It.

I Value People With A Conscience. It's Like A Beeper From God.

They're Combining That New Fertility Drug With A Birth Control Pill For People Who Don't Want Triplets.