Men Are Pigs. Too Bad We Own

Now The Denominator ... Why Don't They Just Call It The Bottom Number? The Denominator ... That Sounds Like A Schwarzenegger Movie Doesn't It? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I Am The Denominator. I'll Give Your Leg A Compound Fraction!

Men Aren't Allowed To Have Self-esteem, Because We're Already Supposed To Have All The Power.... But Most Men Earn Less Than They Want, Barely The Minimum Wage. They're Drones. They Do Stuff They Don't Want To Do To Support Their Families, And They're Not Sure Why They Do It. They Don't Know What They're Doing Half The Time, And Any Time We Stick Up For Ourselves, We're Pigs Because We Don't Know How To Articulate Our Frustrations And Joys.

In My Experience, It's All Wonderful With Girls Until About 16. Around That Time, Boys Kind Of Calm Down And Start Focusing Their Testosterone. Girls Get A Little Challenging, Especially For Fathers.

Electricity Can Be Dangerous. My Nephew Tried To Stick A Penny Into A Plug. Whoever Said A Penny Doesn't Go Far Didn't See Him Shoot Across That Floor. I Told Him He Was Grounded.

My Dad's Death Reminds Me Of Earthquakes - Things That Shake Your Foundation.