Maybe I'm Corny, But I'm A Big

Life Has To Keep Going, So You Can Either Be A Victim The Rest Of Your Life And Let It Drag You Down Into Drugs And Alcohol And Depression Or You Can Turn It Into Something Good, Fun Even, You Know, And I Tell Young People Who Are Going Through Depression That This Might Be The Most Important Time Of Your Life. This Might Be What Makes You A Great Artist Later On.

It Really Bothers Me When Some People Say That All Cops Are Racist. Of Course That's Not True. Most Of You Are Just [expletive] To Everybody.

When I See A Good Singer, I Get Teary-eyed. Part Of It Is Jealousy Because All Comedians Are Frustrated Rock Stars. That's A Fact.

My Own Personal Rule Is To Tell Jokes That I Think The Person I'm Making Them About Can Laugh At, To Go Home And Tell Their Family, Oh, My Gosh.

Life Is Tough, And If We Don't Laugh, We're Going To - Our Head Will Explode.