Many Live By Their Wits But Few

Bore : A Fellow Who Can Change The Subject Back To His Topic Of Conversation Faster Than You Can Change It Back To Yours.

The Man Who Is Always Waving The Flag Usually Waives What It Stands For.

You Can Always Tell A Real Friend: When You've Made A Fool Of Yourself He Doesn't Feel You've Done A Permanent Job.

There Are Two Kinds Of Egotists: Those Who Admit It, And The Rest Of Us

A Censor Is An Expert In Cutting Remarks. A Censor Is A Man Who Knows More Than He Thinks You Ought To.