Life Works Upon A Compensating Balance, And

Truth And Fact Are Old-fashioned And Out-of-date, My Friends, Fit Only For The Dull And Vulgar To Live By. Appearance, Not Reality, Is What The Clever Dog Grasps At In These Clever Days. We Spurn The Dull-brown Solid Earth; We Build Our Lives And Homes In The Fair-seeming Rainbow-land Of Shadow And Chimera.

Too Much Of Anything Is A Mistake, As The Man Said When His Wife Presented Him With Four New Healthy Children In One Day. We Should Practice Moderation In All Matters.

You Can Always Tell The Old River Hand By The Way In Which He Stretches Himself Out Upon The Cushions At The Bottom Of The Boat, And Encourages The Rowers By Telling Them Anecdotes About The Marvellous Feats He Performed Last Season.

Swearing Relieves The Feelings - That Is What Swearing Does. I Explained This To My Aunt On One Occasion, But It Didn't Answer With Her. She Said I Had No Business To Have Such Feelings.

I Could Not Conjure Up One Melancholy Fancy Upon A Mutton Chop And A Glass Of Champagne.