Life Will Always Remain A Gamble, With

When You Forget To Take The Sail At All, Then The Wind Is Constantly In Your Favour Both Ways. But There! This World Is Only A Probation, And Man Was Born To Trouble As The Sparks Fly Upward.

If He Were A Man Of Strong Mind, It Only Gave Him Fits; But A Person Of Mere Average Intellect It Usually Sent Mad.

I Did Not Intend To Write A Funny Book, At First. I Did Not Know I Was A Humorist. I Have Never Been Sure About It. In The Middle Ages, I Should Probably Have Gone About Preaching And Got Myself Burnt Or Hanged.

Angels May Be Very Excellent Sort Of Folk In Their Way, But We, Poor Mortals, In Our Present State, Would Probably Find Them Precious Slow Company.

There Are Two Kinds Of Clocks. There Is The Clock That Is Always Wrong, And That Knows It Is Wrong, And Glories In It; And There Is The Clock That Is Always Right - Except When You Rely Upon It, And Then It Is More Wrong Than You Would Think A Clock Could Be In A Civilized Country.