Conceit Is The Finest Armour A Man

I Attribute The Quarrelsome Nature Of The Middle Ages Young Men Entirely To The Want Of The Soothing Weed.

Time Is But The Shadow Of The World Upon The Background Of Eternity.

Swearing Relieves The Feelings - That Is What Swearing Does. I Explained This To My Aunt On One Occasion, But It Didn't Answer With Her. She Said I Had No Business To Have Such Feelings.

Think Of The Man Who First Tried German Sausage.

I Also Think Pronunciation Of A Foreign Tongue Could Be Better Taught Than By Demanding From The Pupil Those Internal Acrobatic Feats That Are Generally Impossible And Always Useless. This Is The Sort Of Instruction One Receives : “press Your Tonsils Against The Underside Of Your Larynx. Then With The Convex Part Of The Septum Curved Upwards So As Almost — But Not Quite — To Touch The Uvula, Try With The Tip Of Your Tongue To Reach Your Thyroid. Take A Deep Breath, And Compress Your Glottis. Now Without Opening Your Lips Say "garoo".' And When You Have Done It They Are Not Satisfied.