Let's Have Some Wine, Go Upstairs, And

Don't Use Your Bedroom For Work, Unless You're A Prostitute.

You All Know Newt Gingrich. Newt Is Short For Newton. People Say If That's The Case, What Is Mitt Short For? It's Short For 'mittens.'

Today Was Opening Day For The New Congress In Washington. And Vice President Joe Biden Swore In The New Batch Of White House Fence Jumpers.

In The Last 48 Hours King Abdullah From Saudi Arabia Passed Away. I Have A Moral Dilemma. The King Passed Away Three Or Four Days Ago. Is It Too Soon To Hit On Queen Latifah?

We're Learning More About Osama Bin Laden. His Father Was Married 16 Times, And He Has Five Wives. I Think We're Getting To The Root Of His Intense Anger. And They Say Bin Laden Never Spends The Night In The Same Place Twice. No, Wait A Minute, That's Clinton.