In Hollywood, Oscar Is King.

Valentine's Day Money-saving Tips: Break Up On February 13th, Get Back Together On The 15th. In Place Of Bubble Bath, Use Lavender-scented Dish-washing Liquid. Forget Rose Petals. Sprinkle The Bed With Sliced Beets!

Here In New York City You Can Now Walk Around Smoking Weed And All They Will Do If They See You Is Write You A Ticket. Unfortunately, The Ticket Will Be To A Jets Game.

Did You Get The New Iphone Yet? The Iphone That I Have Is Outdated. It Has Two Pieces And A Hand Crank.

Obama Said They've Had Some Glitches With The Affordable Care Website. I'll Tell You Something. If You Order A Pair Of Pants Online And They Send You The Wrong Color, That's A Glitch. This Is Like A Carnival Cruise, For God's Sake!

Ted Kennedy Is Endorsing John Kerry And I'm Wondering, Do You Really Want The Endorsement Of A Guy With A Bloody Mary Mustache?