In Hollywood, Oscar Is King.

Donald Trump Announced That He Is Not Running For President. He Would Rather Spend His Time Making Gary Busey Sell Snapple On The Street.

The Pope Also Said That While He's In Town He Would Like To Go See 'the Book Of Mormon.'

Mitt Romney Said That He Liked To Fire People. Well, There's A Pretty Good Message To Send To Middle America. When Rick Perry Heard That, He Said, 'well That's Nothing. I Like To Execute People.'

Moammar Gadhafi Was Found Hiding In A Storm Sewer With A Gold-plated Gun. That's Me In Retirement, Ladies And Gentlemen.

To Save Energy, New York City Is Now Dimming The Lights Of The Skyscrapers And The Skyline At Night. There's A Bad Side To This. If You Need Batman, You Have To Text Him.