In Hollywood, Oscar Is King.

What A Day. It's 53 And Gloomy - Like President Obama.

It's Two Days Until Tax Time. I Know It's Late, But There Is Still Time To Deduct This Show As A Loss.

What We Know About Osama Bin Laden Is This: He's Worth $300 Million, He Has Five Wives And Twenty-six Kids -- And He Hates Americans For Their "excessive" Lifestyle.

Yesterday Was Chinese New Year. It's The Year Of The Rabbit. And Here's How Dumb I Am. I'm Still Writing The Year Of The Pig On My Checks.

The Mayor Of Sochi Is Now Saying That There Are No Gay People In Sochi. So The Only Thing That Is Flaming Over There Now Is The Olympic Torch.