What A Day. It's 53 And Gloomy

United Airlines: Passengers Are Our Worst Enemy. We're Not Too Fond Of Luggage Either.

The Cia Special Unit That Was Searching For Osama Bin Laden Has Been Disbanded. So I Guess, Mission Accomplished.

Over In Afghanistan, Osama Stuck His Head Out Of The Cave And Saw A Shadow. So, That Means Six More Weeks Of Bombing.

People Say New Yorkers Can't Get Along. Not True. I Saw Two New Yorkers, Complete Strangers, Sharing A Cab. One Guy Took The Tires And The Radio; The Other Guy Took The Engine.

Hillary Clinton Is Campaigning In Iowa, Virtually Going Door To Door To Every Home In Iowa. Jehovah's Witnesses Finally Got Fed Up And Said, 'get Lost. Get Out Of Here!'