Laughter Is An Instant Vacation.

We Inherit A Lot From Our Parents: Mom's Eyes, Dad's Chin, And The Attitude Of Whichever Parent Isn't Punishing You At The Moment. All Of Those Things We Have Our Mom's To Thank For."if Evolution Really Works, How Come Mothers Only Have Two Hands?"

If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door.

An Adult Western Is Where The Hero Still Kisses His Horse At The End, Only Now He Worries About It.

Jews Don't Drink Much Because It Interferes With Their Suffering.

I Don't Mind Personal Insults, But When You Insult The Jokes That I Tell You're Insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns And Allen, Trevor Mcgee And Molly Picon.