Laughter Is An Instant Vacation.

We Inherit A Lot From Our Parents: Mom's Eyes, Dad's Chin, And The Attitude Of Whichever Parent Isn't Punishing You At The Moment. All Of Those Things We Have Our Mom's To Thank For."if Evolution Really Works, How Come Mothers Only Have Two Hands?"

Valentine's Day - A Nice Holiday Because It's The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Wife.

A Committee Is A Group That Keeps Minutes And Loses Hours.

I Bought My Son A Bat For Christmas. On New Year's It Flew Away.

I Don't Mind Personal Insults, But When You Insult The Jokes That I Tell You're Insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns And Allen, Trevor Mcgee And Molly Picon.