Last Night, It Was So Cold, The

May You Have The Income Of A Republican And The Sex Life Of A Democrat!

I'm An Entertainer, Not A Commentator. If You're A Comedian Your Job Is To Make People Laugh.

I Feel The One Sensible Thing You Can Do Is Try To Live In A Way That Pleases You. If You Don't Hurt Anybody Else, What You Do Is Your Own Business.

For Days After Death Hair And Fingernails Continue To Grow, But Phone Calls Taper Off.

If God Didn't Want Man To Hunt, He Wouldn't Have Given Us Plaid Shirts.