Keep Your Talent In The Dark And

[on The British Museum:] It Was Manifestly Impossible To Read All The Books In That Huge, Gloomy Structure, But I Made A Good Try And Accumulated A Fund Of Useless Information Guaranteed To Cast A Pall Over Any Dinner Table.

The Cocktail Party Is Easily The Worst Invention Since Castor Oil

I Make Enemies Deliberately. They Are The Sauce Piquante To My Dish Of Life.

Serve The Dinner Backward, Do Anything - But For Goodness Sake, Do Something Weird.

Someone Has Said That Life Itself Is A Party: You Join After It's Started And You Leave Before It's Finished.