Jesus Had A Tough Life. I Read

John Goodman Isn't Fat. He's In A Category Beyond Fat. What Does One Call It? Whalelike.

I Have Lived A Carnal Life. My View Of Life Is 'if You're Going To Miss Heaven, Why Miss It By Two Inches? Miss It!' I Don't Have To Go Through The Thing Of Paying For It In The Next Life. I Know I'm Screwed In The Next Life.

Folks, I've Been Straight For Seventeen Days... Not All In A Row.

You Know What The Problem Is With World Hunger? We've Been Sending Them Food.

It Was Great To Be The Rock Comic, The Shock Comic. But After You've Played Giants Stadium With Bon Jovi In Front Of 82,000 People, After You've Done The 'wild Thing' Video With Jessica Hahn And Every Rock Band From Hell, You're Not Gonna Top That.