I've Got A Friend Who Is Half-jewish

You Know How Many Stunning Women Told Me They Can't Stand A Good-looking Man? ... Women Feel Secure With An Ugly Guy Because A Man In Bad Shape Isn't Gonna Cheat.

It Is Easy To Tell The Difference Between Jews And Gentiles. After The Show, All The Gentiles Are Saying 'have A Drink? Want A Drink? Let's Have A Drink!' While All The Jews Are Saying 'have You Eaten Yet? Want A Piece Of Cake? Let's Have Some Cake!

It's No Longer A Question Of Staying Healthy. It's A Question Of Finding A Sickness You Like.

I Didn't Think It Was Fair To Pretend To Give Of Myself When I Was So Selfishly Consumed With My Own Drives.

I Don't Believe That Anybody Has Come To A Conclusion On Why Something Is Funny. It's Funny Because It's Ridiculous And It's Ridiculous For Different Reasons At Different Times.