I've Always Boxed, I Always Taught Boxing.

Wearing Crocs Is Like Getting Blown By A Dude. It Feels Great Until You Look Down And Realize You're Gay.

No, I Had Not Read Any Other Comedian's Book. Not That I Don't Enjoy Other Comedians; I'm Just Not A Reader.

I Know Everything Because I Know Nothing.

I Feel Like I'm A Time Traveler From The Future Who Has Been Sent Back To Be Annoyed.

I'm A Sort Of Nuts-and-bolts Guy. I'm Into Turning Wrenches And Swinging A Hammer And Wrenching On Cars.