It's Not A Bloody Piano, It's A

My Stand-up Is Quite Good Now, People Say. It's Just Like A Big Conversation Each Time. Every Gig Is A Rehearsal.

Most Transvestites Fancy Girls.

It's A Historical Thing, Up To The 19th Century The English Hated The French. Then In The 20th Century The English Started To Hate The Germans - As We Began To Move Alphabetically Through The Map Of The World. Now, The Year 2000, We Are Fine With The Germans... But The Hungarians Are Pissing Us Off.

So The American Government Lied To The Native Americans For Many, Many Years, And Then President Clinton Lied About A Relationship, And Everyone Was Surprised! A Little Naive, I Feel!

Sharks Are Just Evil Bastards. I'm Quite Happy If All The Sharks Just Went, Because They Eat Fish And Us. And We Need The Fish.