It's Never Too Late To Have A

Dear Lord, I've Been Asked, Nay Commanded, To Thank Thee For The Christmas Turkey Before Us... A Turkey Which Was No Doubt A Lively, Intelligent Bird... A Social Being... Capable Of Actual Affection... Nuzzling Its Young With Almost Human- Like Compassion. Anyway, It's Dead And We're Gonna Eat It. Please Give Our Respects To Its Family.

I Could Draw Bloom County With My Nose And Pay My Cleaning Lady To Write It, And I'd Bet I Wouldn't Lose 10% Of My Papers Over The Next Twenty Years. Such Is The Nature Of Comic-strips. Once Established, Their Half-life Is Usually More Than Nuclear Waste.

It's Not Terribly Dignified To Have Anyone Seeing One Laugh At One's Own Material.

If Nothing Is Serious Anymore, Then There's Nothing To Satirize.

I Hate Smoothies. Because They Won't Offer Firestone Ipa Beer As An Ingredient.