It's Never Occurred To Me To Worry

I Just Want To Apologise For Being Late. I Was Flying Back From Spain And The Air Hostess Said: "we Are Two Hours Late Mr Carson." When I Asked Why, She Said: "the Pilot Has Heard A Funny Noise In The Engine That He Doesn't Like, So We Are Waiting On Another Pilot Who Can't Hear It."

A Man Walks Into A Pet Shop And Says: "give Me A Wasp." The Shopkeeper Replies: "we Don't Sell Wasps." He Says: "there's One In The Window."

I Come From A Family Of Musicians. Even The Sewing Machine Is A Singer.

It's My Wife Ruth's Birthday Soon. I Said To Her: "what Would You Like For Your Birthday?" She Said: "i Want A Divorce." I Said: "i Wasn't Planning On Spending That Much."

What's The Difference Between My Wife And A Terrorist? You Can Negotiate With A Terrorist.