It's Much Easier To Make Jokes About

If I Had A Time Machine I Would Go Back 30 Years And Show Up At My Grandmother's Apartment Before The Gargantuan Meals She Would Serve And I Would Help Her.

I Was Way Too Hyperactive To Study For Long. I Would Freak Out, Then Crash, Then Be Too Tired To Read Or Write. I Really Should Have Had Less Sugar.

I Love The Excess Of Christmas. The Shopping Season That Begins In September, The Bad Pop Star Recordings Of Christmas Carols, The Decorations That Don't Know When To Come Down.

I'm In Fact A Hair Under Six Feet, But I'm Very Svelte. People Would Never See Me If I Turned Sideways.

I Have A Dream, And A Plan, To Combine The Commercial Possibilities Of Valentine's Day With The Substance And Meaning Of Black History Month. I Call It: Blackentine's Day.