It's A Lie, But Heaven Will Forgive

What We Call Creative Work, Ought Not To Be Called Work At All, Because It Isn't. I Imagine That Thomas Edison Never Did A Day's Work In His Last Fifty Years.

I've Seen Lifelong Friends Drift Apart Over Golf Just Because One Could Play Better, But The Other Counted Better.

Humor May Be Defined As The Kindly Contemplation Of The Incongruities Of Life, And The Artistic Expression Thereof.

I Detest Life-insurance Agents: They Always Argue That I Shall Some Day Die, Which Is Not So.

You Frequently Ask, Where Are The Friends Of Your Childhood, And Urge That They Shall Be Brought Back To You. As Far As I Am Able To Learn, Those Of Your Friends Who Are Not In Jail Are Still Right There In Your Native Village. You Point Out That They Were Wont To Share Your Gambols, If So, You Are Certainly Entitled To Have Theirs Now.