It's A Great Day For America, Everybody!

Justin Bieber's Tour Bus Was Stopped By Canadian Border Patrol Agents. And They Found Marijuana. The Agents Said Bieber Was A Disgrace To Canada And Should Never Come Back. Then They Found The Marijuana.

There Is No Thanksgiving Back In The Old Country Where I Come From. You Know Why? Because Being Thankful Is A Sin.

I Think Comedy As An Art Involves The Audience As A Participant As Much As Is Involves The Artist.

I Felt That, As Time Went On, An Audience Gets To Know You And In A Weird Way, You Kind Of Feel Like You Get To Know The Audience A Little Bit. When I'm Doing Stand-up Gigs Now, I Feel Like I'm Doing Gigs In Front Of People I Know. I Think That's The Result Of Doing Late-night Shows For So Long.

All They Teach You In Drama School Is How To Do Stage Fights And Be A Pain In Rehearsals.