It Turns Out That Speeding Irresponsibly In

They Say Give A Man A Fish And He'll Eat For A Day. But Teach A Man To Fish And He'll Get His Own Show On The Discovery Channel.

Fraser's Mother, Janice, Was Actually Quite A Happy Soul But She Had To Hide It Because, Like All Pseudo Intellectuals, She Thought Being Cheery Made Her Look Stupid, Which Of Course She Was For Believing That Rubbish In The First Place. She Like To Talk About Sartre Sometimes, Just As Insurance.

A Number Of U.s. Colleges Are Going To Start Having Dorms For Alcoholics. I Believe Those Are Called Dorms.

I Came To America, And I Made Good. It's An Old Story, But It Hasn't Been Told In A Long Time. Usually, It's, 'i'm An Immigrant, I Came Here And Got Persecuted.' My Story Is I Came Here, I Worked Hard, And It Worked Out All Right. So It's Still Available.

A New Restaurant Here In Southern California Requires Women To Wear High Heels. I'm Outraged! This Is Sexist! Why Just The Women?