It Was The Same Thing In The

When I Was 3 Years Old, My Parents Got A Dog. I Was Jealous Of The Dog, So They Got Rid Of Me.

I Tell Ya, My Wife Was Never Nice. On Our First Date, I Asked Her If I Could Give Her A Goodnight Kiss On The Cheek - She Bent Over!

If You Can't Write Your Own Material, You Have Very Little Chance Of Making It As A Comedian.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, I Took Her To The Top Of The Empire State Building And Planes Started To Attack Her.

We Sleep In Separate Rooms, We Have Dinner Apart, We Take Separate Vacations - We're Doing Everything We Can To Keep Our Marriage Together.