It Seemed Fun To Play A Villain

When My Girlfriend Cooks Dinner, I'm Happy To Do The Dishes. Because I Make Her Wash Dishes When I Take Her To A Restaurant.

In Comedy, I Hate That Cop-out Where You Say, "just Kidding." I Know You're Just Kidding. Don't Insult My Intelligence By Spelling It Out For Me That Much.

My Sister Is Going To Have A Simple Wedding. Just Immediate Family. And Whoever The Hell Would Want To Marry Her.

I Have A Twelve Year Old Sex Doll. Brand New.

I'm Very Arrogant And Mean. I'm Almost Like A Bad Guy Professional Wrestler.