In A Way, I Was Incredibly Proud

Not Like This Vision Before Us, Who Was Shaking Water Out Of His Slightly Overlong Reddish-brown Hair As He Leaned Over To Lay Down His Board (revealing, As He Did So, The Fact That Beneath His Baggy Swim Trunks—so Weighted Down With Water That They Had Sunk Somewhat Dangerously Low On His Hips—lurked What Appeared To Be An Exceptionally Well-formed Gluteus Maximus)

But I Guess You Would Look Beatific, Too, If The Man You Had Been In Love With Since The Fifth Grade Had Told You That He Was In Love With You, Too.

This Is Not To Say That I Wasn't Completely Repulsed. I Mean, I Wasn't Exactly Proud That My Stepbrother Was In There Tongue Wrestling With The Second Stupidest Person In Our Class, After Himself.

You Know What You Sound Like? A Jealous Girl Friend. And How Are Things On Planet You Wish?

Jake Leaned On The Horn, Swearing Loudly. Gina Covered Her Eyes. Doc Flung His Arms Around Me, Burying His Face In My Lap, And Dopey, To My Great Surprise, Began To Scream Like A Girl, Very Close To My Ear.