But I Guess You Would Look Beatific,

You Didn't," John Said, Stepping From The Shadows As He Clapped For Me, "even Hit Your Head This Time.

Sometimes In Life, You Fall Down Holes You Can't Climb Out Of By Yourself. That's What Friends And Family Are For-to Help. They Can't Help, However, Unless You Let Them Know You're Down There.

He Let His Mouth Linger On Mine, Neither Possessively Nor Sweetly... Like His Mouth Just Belonged There On Mine. And He Was Right. It Did. It Always Had.

I Swear, Sometimes I Am Convinced My Life Is Just A Series Of Sketches For America's Funniest Home Videos, Minus All That Pants-dropping Business. Except My Life Really Isn't All That Funny If You Think About It.

Also, I Think I Felt Something Come Loose Back There. I'm Not Trying To Overreact Or Anything But I Think It Was My Uterus. Honest. I Think My Uterus Jiggled Free. My Uterus Is Just Going To Come Out Between My Legs And I'm Going To Look Like I'm Walking Around With An Enormous Load In My Pants.