I'm Very Much About Letting Other People

It's Like Being A Stand-up Comedian Is What Leads To Being A Talk-show Host. That Life Is Not Cut Out For A Woman, Being On The Road At These Disgusting Hotels. What Girls Want To Do That? Gross Guys Want To Do That. I Think That The Dearth In Female Comics Is Just The Nature Of The Business, But There Certainly Isn't A Dearth Anymore, So I Think It's Just Silly.

It's Hard On An All-gay Softball Team Because No One Knows If They Want To Be A Pitcher Or A Catcher.

If You Get Into A Customer Service Fight With A Hooker, Even If You're In The Right, You're In The Wrong.

The Only People I Owe An Apology To Are My Dead Parents. Except My Father Because He's Still Alive.

People Confuse The Fact That I Discuss Drinking Openly With The Idea That I'm A Heavy Drinker. I Don't Want Girls At My Show Wasted, Screaming And Yelling Out And Vomiting.