I'm Supposed To Have A Ph.d. On

I Want To Be Buried With A Zippo, A Roll Of Dimes & A Bottle Of Jack!

You Are The Promised Kiss Of Springtime That Makes The Lonely Winter Seem Long. You Are The Breathless Hush Of Evening That Trembles On The Brink Of A Lovely Song.

There Are Things About Organized Religion Which I Resent. Christ Is Revered As The Prince Of Peace, But More Blood Has Been Shed In His Name Than Any Other Figure In History. You Show Me One Step Forward In The Name Of Religion, And I'll Show You A Hundred Retrogressions…i'm For Decency—period. I'm For Anything And Everything That Bodes Love And Consideration For My Fellow Man. But When Lip Service To Some Mysterious Deity Permits Bestiality On Wednesday And Absolution On Sunday—count Me Out.

People Often Remark That I'm Pretty Lucky. Luck Is Only Important In So Far As Getting The Chance To Sell Yourself At The Right Moment. After That, You've Got To Have Talent And Know How To Use It.

[dean Martin] Is An Absolute, Unqualified Drunk. And If We Ever Develop An Olympic Drinking Team, He's Gonna Be The Coach... Dean Martin Has Been Stoned More Often Than The United States Embassies.