I'm Pretty Equal Opportunity When It Comes

I’ve Thought For The Last Decade Or So, The Only Actual Place Raw Truth Was Seeping Through In Newspapers Was On The Comics Pages. They Were Able To Pull Off Intelligent Social Comment, Pure Truths Not Found Elsewhere In The News Pages, And Had The Ability To Make It All Funny, Entertaining, And Pertinent.

For Me, Comedy Is A Day-to-day Report On The Human Condition. It's What's Happening Right Now. I Get Maybe 20 Minutes Of My Act Straight From The Newspaper.

I Always Had A Running Commentary In My Head That Was Extremely Funny And Off-center, But I Never Said It To Anyone.

The Vatican Is Against Surrogate Mothers. Good Thing They Didn't Have That Rule When Jesus Was Born.

My Fashion Philosophy Is, If You're Not Covered In Dog Hair, Your Life Is Empty.