I'm Not Against Half Naked Girls -

Did You Ever Notice That Everyone In Favour Of Birth Control Has Already Been Born ?

I Never Yell, I Never Tell, But I'm Grateful As Hell.

I Thought I Couldn't Afford To Take Her Out And Smoke As Well. So I Gave Up Cigarettes. Then I Took Her Out And One Day I Looked At Her And Thought: 'oh Well,' And I Went Back To Smoking Again, And That Was Better.

The Odds Against There Being A Bomb On A Plane Are A Million To One, And Against Two Bombs A Million Times A Million To One. Next Time You Fly, Cut The Odds And Take A Bomb.

Girls Are Like Pianos. When They're Not Upright, They're Grand.