I'm Not A Republican... But I Am

When I Went To College, My Parents Threw A Going Away Party For Me, According To The Letter.

I've Always Suffered From A Complete Inability To Sense Who's Important.

You Don't Appreciate A Lot Of Stuff In School Until You Get Older. Little Things Like Being Spanked Every Day By A Middle-aged Woman: Stuff You Pay Good Money For In Later Life.

I'm From Downer's Grove, Illinois. We Had A Blackout There The Other Day, But Fortunately The Police Made Him Get Back Into His Car Before He Got Too Far.

I Find You Can Often Find Humor Just By Turning Something Upside-down. Like A... Small Child.