I'm Not A Republican... But I Am

The Only Work I Ever Turned Down Was A Cable Programme Called Diving For Excrement.

Now There's A Seven-day Waiting Period To Buy A Gun. Who Can Stay Mad That Long?

I Got A Job At An Amusement Park. I Like To Make The Rides More Terrifying By Throwing A Couple Of Screws Onto The Seats.

Countries Are Making Nuclear Weapons Like There Is No Tomorrow.

My Girlfriend Said, Just Buy Me Something Crazy And Expensive, Something I Don't Even Need! So, I Signed Her Up For Radiation Treatment.