I'm Kinda Like Herpes, I Just Keep

I Became A Radio Nut. I Loved The Afternoon Serials, And I Got Into Jazz Through The Radio. I Had A Subscription To Down Beat When I Was 12. And I'd Spend A Lot Of Time In Front Of The Minor, Miming Records.

People Always Tell Me "have A Nice Day." Well What If I Don't Want To? What If I Want To Have A Crappy Day?

If Drumsticks Are For Playing Drums, You Would Think That Breadsticks Would Be For Playing Bread, Wouldn't You? "would You Like Some Breadsticks?" "no, Thank You, I Don't Play Bread. I Play Drums. Perhaps I'll Have A Drum Roll."

Bowling Is Not A Sport Because You Have To Rent The Shoes.

I Am Not A Complete Vegetarian. I Eat Only Animals That Have Died In Their Sleep.