I'm Just Trying To Make A Smudge

How About This John Kerry Controversy? So He's Out There In California, Tells Some Kind Of Joke And It Backfires. He's Saying He Botched The Joke. ... This Guy Can Lose Elections He's Not Even In.

Here In New York City, It's Cold. It's So Cold The Republicans Want To Use The Keystone Pipeline To Deliver Soup.

Mayor De Blasio Said That Whenever He Goes To A Yankee Game He Gets Sick And Tired Of People Booing And Giving Him The Finger. Hey, What Do You Want? You're The Mayor Of New York City. It Comes With The Gig, Pal.

Love: You Can't Start It Like A Car, You Can't Stop It With A Gun.

The Morning After I Had My Heart Bypass, The Doctor Called And Said, Soon You'll Be Able To Have Sex. I Said, I've Heard That For Years.