I'm Just A Person Trapped Inside A

Laundry's Easier When You Live Alone. Fifteen Minutes Before A Date, Put 'em On, Dry 'em With A Hair Blower.

When I Played The Sahara Hotel In Las Vegas On New Year's Eve, I Got To Bring Wiley, My 85-pound Black Lab. He's Responsible For My Favorite New Year's Memory Of All: At The End Of The Show, He Ran Onstage And Then Out Across All The Tables In The Showroom, Sending Champagne Glasses And Gamblers Flying.

I Love My Parents And They're Wonderful People, But They Were Strict, And I Still Look For Ways To Get Even. When I Got My Own Apartment For The Very First Time And They Came To Stay With Me For The Weekend, I Made Them Stay In Separate Bedrooms.

Ever Notice That Soup For One Is Eight Aisles Away From Party Mix?

Horse Racing Is Waning In Popularity.