I'm A Horse Of A Man!

You're A Car, But Most Of All, What You Are, What You've Become, Is A Mate. And That's What Makes A Car Special. That's What Makes A Car Great. You Start To Think Of It As A Person. You Start To Love It.

I Was Reading The Mirror The Other Day And Came Across A Letter From A Reader Who Wrote, 'i Was Riding My Bike To Work When This Red Ferrari Pulled Up Next To Me. Out Of The Window, Jeremy Clarkson Shouted 'get A Car', And Drove Off.' What I Actually Said Was, 'get A Car You Hatchet Faced, Leaf-eating Tw*t

Unlike Furious Thin-lipped Feminists, I Tend Not To Draw Distinctions Between Men And Women, Apart From In Bed Where You Really Do Need To Spot The Difference.

When You've Finished Using A Car, Put The F***ing Seat Back, So Humans Can Use It Afterwards.

It Couldn't Pull A Greased Stick Out Of A Pig's Bottom