I Can Do More Than Just Stand-up

Sometimes Sex Is Just A Way To Escape Having To Talk To That Person.

I'm In A New Club, By The Way. And I Don't Know If You're First Timers Like I Am, But I'm In The 'i Just Dropped My Cell Phone In My Own Piss' Club. Have You Done That? Yeah, Good Times. I'm On The Phone And I Forget That I'm Using Shoulder Technique. Urinals Were Taken So I Went In To Use The Regular John. And As I'm Standing There, Mid-conversation, I'm Like 'are You Serious?' And It Just Started To Toboggan Right Down My Powerful Chest.

I Can Smell Bullshit From A Mile Away But It's So Much Harder To Detect When It's Around You All Day.

Then It Was Snack Time, Right In The Middle Of Mass. Right Out Of Nowhere, The Priest Would Look Down And Say, 'let's Have Some Yum Yums!' You Would Get In Line - You Would Jump In The Line - And You Would Go Up And Get The Crouton O'christ.

I Can't Do Anything! I Can't Even Have An English Muffin!