I Can Do More Than Just Stand-up

We All Hope For Breakthrough Rebirth Moments.

You Know Your Gut Instincts Are Spot On About A Person When You Can Also Detect A Water Source In The Soil Beneath Them.

I Would Love To Have Acidy Spit.

Here's How You Know That You're Really Drunk: When You Get Into A Taxi Cab And You Think The Fare Is The Time.

I Don't Know If I Could Kill Someone With A Frozen Turkey Because That Is A Lot Of Evidence To Eat .... Unless I Found A Whole Room Of People Who Also Wanted That Person Dead.