If You Can Lie, You Can Act,

To Me, Comedy Is A Great Occupation Because I Don't Really Worry That Much About What Other People Think Of Me.

Never Stay In A Bad Marriage, And Don't Hang Around With Psycho Coke Fiends.

The Planet's Spinning A Thousand Miles An Hour Around This Gigantic Nuclear Explosion While These People Roll These Machines With Rubber Tires Over This Hard Surface That We've Laid Down Over The Planet So That We Can Easily Move Ourselves Back And Forth.

When You Snatch Little Pieces Of Other People's Lives And Try To Palm Them Off As Your Own, That's More Disgusting Than Anything. Robin Williams Is A Huge Thief. Denis Leary Is A Huge Thief. His Whole Stand-up Career Is Based On Bill Hicks, A Brilliant Guy Who Died Years Ago.

No Matter How Civilized We Are And How Much Society Has Curbed Violent Behavior. Human Beings Still Have The Same Genes They Had 10,000 Years Ago. Our Bodies Are Designed To Have A Certain Amount Of Physical Stress And Violence In Them. We're Designed To Run From Jaguars And Fight To Defend Our Territory.