If Pigs Had Wings, They Would Be

A Comic Should Suffer As Much Over A Single Line As A Man With A Hernia Would In Picking Up A Heavy Barbell.

A Rich Man Is Nothing But A Poor Man With Money.

The Funniest Thing About Comedy Is That You Never Know Why People Laugh. I Know What Makes Them Laugh But Trying To Get Your Hands On The Why Of It Is Like Trying To Pick An Eel Out Of A Tub Of Water.

Scotch Needs Water Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle.

If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's Worth Cheating For.