If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door,

The Problem With Life Is, By The Time You Can Read Women Like A Book, Your Library Card Has Expired.

I Wanted To Get The Guy Who Works Next To Me In The Office Something He Really Wants, But How Do You Wrap Up A Saloon?

I Like To Think Of Myself As The Middleman Between Fred Allen And Henny Youngman.

I Just Filled Out My Income Tax Forms. Who Says You Can't Get Killed By A Blank?

Marriage Is One Of The Few Institutions That Allow A Man To Do As His Wife Pleases.