If No One Ever Took Risks, Michaelangelo

You Must Realize That Honorary Degrees Are Given Generally To People Whose Sat Scores Were Too Low To Get Them Into Schools The Regular Way. As A Matter Of Fact, It Was My Sat Scores That Led Me Into My Present Vocation In Life, Comedy.

I Love Living. I Have Some Problems With My Life, But Living Is The Best Thing They've Come Up With So Far.

I Don't Want To Restrict The Life Of A Play To A Particular Production. The Original Actors Might Leave After The First Six Months, And I Want The Play To Last 30 Or 40 Years. You Write For The Character, Not The Actor On The Stage.

I Was Constantly Being Dragged Out Of Movies For Laughing Too Loud.

I Got Brown Sandwiches And Green Sandwiches. Its Either Very New Cheese Or Very Old Meat. - Oscar Madison, From The Odd Couple