If I Could Control The Behavior Of

To Some I Am Known As Chief. And These Are Usually People Who Work In Radio Shack Or Try To Sell Me Shoes. To Others I Am Known As Buddy. These Are People Who Dwell In Bars And Wonder If I’ve Got A Problem Or What It Is That I Am “looking At.” And To Still Others, Who Are In That Same Bar, Standing Just Off To The Side, I Am “get Him!"

The Problem With Most People, Is That They Are Most People.

The Definition Of Adventure Depends Upon How Boring Your Life Is.

The Shortest Distance Between Two Idiots Is A Conga Line.

I Have A Time Machine At Home. It Only Goes Forward At Regular Speed