If Elected, I Will Win.

People Come Up To Me In Bars And On Street Corners And They Say To Me, 'hey, Paulsen, Have You Got Any Change?'

I Admit I Do Have Some Drawbacks And Limitations As A Candidate. Although I Am A Professional Comedian, Some Of My Critics Maintain That This Is Not Enough. I Cannot Deny That I Stand Before You Untested And Inexperienced - I Only Spent Two Years In Television, Never As A Romantic Lead Or A Song And Dance Man.

Yeah, I'm Running For The White House Again. Well, It's Not A Run, Really; It's Sort Of A Brisk Walk.

Deep Down, I Happen To Be Very Shallow.

I Don't Need Adult Supervision.