I Would Only Make A Movie That

I Was Going To Be A Teacher And Improve The World. Teach People With Hooks For Hands To Fingerpaint, And Teach Bums To Draw Happy Faces On Beads.

It's A Lonely World, Being Independent, And They Can Come Away With The Idea That If Lloyd Kaufman Can Make Movies With People Getting Their Heads Squashed, With Hard-bodied Lesbians, Women Masturbating With Pickles, Graphic Diarrhea, And Singing And Dancing Chicken Zombies - If He Can Do That For 40 Years And Put His Kids Through Yale, Columbia, And Duke - If That Idiot Can Do It, Anybody Can Do It.

There Is No Way I Could Have Ever Dared To Make A Documentary, Much Less Have The Money To Make A Documentary, If It Was On 16mm. But, With The Magic Of Digital.

In Our Racist, Sexist Society, Christmas Is The 8 Hours When We Stop Killing Each Other And Gratuitous Over Eating Is Encouraged So That The Starving And Other People In The World Can Die!

The Person Who Goes To The Troma Movie Knows That He Or She May Love The Troma Movie Or, He Or She May Hate The Troma Movie; But The Movie Goer Knows That He Or She Will Never Forget The Troma Movie.