I Worry About Scientists Discovering That Lettuce

A Grandmother Pretends She Doesn't Know Who You Are On Halloween.

My Mind Works . . . Two Boobs Never Get Me A Job.

A Grandparent Will Accept Your Calls From Anywhere, Collect.

I Got So Much Food Spit Back In My Face When My Kids Were Small, I Put Windshield Wipers On My Glasses.

I Learned The Importance Of A Man's Chair Early In Life. I Learned That He May Love Several Wives, Embrace Several Cars, Be True To More Than One Political Philosophy, And Be Equally Committed To Several Careers, But He Will Have Only One Comfortable Chair In His Life. I Learned It Will Be An Ugly Chair. It Will Match Nothing In The Entire House. It Will Never Wear Out.